


Reflection

by fluidtime



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Misunderstandings, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-25
Updated: 2015-06-25
Packaged: 2018-04-06 01:33:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4202916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fluidtime/pseuds/fluidtime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From the moment they met Sam was enchanted by Castiel. However, for the longest time those sentiments weren't returned. In fact, Sam is one-hundred percent sure that the angel prefers his brother, which sucks, but sometimes, that's just life.</p><p>Set towards the end of S9.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reflection

 

* * *

 

 

Sam didn’t know when his crush on Castiel first developed. Hell, he didn’t even know when they started being friends because yeah, Sam was in awe when he first met Dean’s angelic savior, but that feeling went away pretty quickly when it was accompanied by manipulation and death threats.

And even when Castiel joined their side, their mad gamble for free will, he always came when Dean called, those two were the ones with the “profound bond” and Sam was always reminded that it was he who was the abomination, who had drank demon blood, who was Lucifer’s vessel, and who was sub-par in comparison to Dean.

Sam didn’t want to jump into the pit, in fact he would rather do about anything else, but at least he wouldn’t have to ride shotgun beside the fascinating narrative of those star-crossed lovers.

But he was brought back by Castiel. Because Castiel wanted him back. It wasn’t on anyone’s orders or because of any prophecy. Cass genuinely felt like the Earth needed Sam, and that’s why he’s here.

If that thought caused Sam’s stomach to turn flips, then who could really blame him? Nonetheless, he would still quiet those fluttery emotions, and remind himself that it was still a purely platonic reason. Cass never showed up until Dean prayed to him, and didn’t bother with Sam’s soul until Dean made it a problem. Castiel cared for Sam, he just cared for Dean more.

It was annoying, but he dealt with it. It was even more annoying when Castiel tore down his mental wall, but he dealt with that too. Kind of.

Castiel ended up fixing that as well, and in the process pretty much ended up atoning for breaking it. It was kind of hard to stay mad at the guy when he just put you back together at the cost of his own sanity.

It made Castiel a bit loopy, but that was okay. When Dean got gradually more annoyed at his passiveness and desire to avoid conflict, Sam just found him more endearing. Apparently so did Meg, which made Sam a bit jealous, and yeah, that’s probably when he first started to notice certain feelings he harbored for Cass.

But then Dean was gone and Cass was gone, Meg was somewhere else and Bobby was dead and Sam found someone new and everything just hurt a little less. He thought that maybe he could simply live his life, normal, like he initially intended.

That was obviously asking too much.

When everyone returned and everything went back to hunter normal, and Sam left Amelia and Meg died, Dean found solace in a friendship with a vampire and everything was a disaster. Everything hurt a little more.

Then Sam almost died. Again.

But he was saved. Again.

Against his will. Again.

This was getting old. He was pissed at Dean for letting Gadreel possess him, and was even more resentful that Dean wouldn’t fucking apologize for it, and that’s when problems really began to crop up. Like they really needed more of those.

Sam was pretty much miserable. Cass was never around. Dean was getting so angry so easily. Life sucked. They had the bunker at least, but other than that, the outlook was bleak. So when Dean stomped out to go on his own private angel-hunt for Gadreel, Sam was kind of relieved and looking forward to a break from the constant tension.

And Cass was there, and my God, somehow sexier than ever, taking care of him, and they bonded, and he even said that there was nothing worth losing Sam, and they hugged and fuck if it wasn’t the most amazing thing to happen to Sam in a long time. So yeah, the torch he previously held for the angel totally got reignited.

He flirted with Castiel a little. He thought that Cass flirted back. Sam felt kinda happy again even though he had no idea where this could even lead. But it was fun, and he liked Cass. A lot.

He liked the little frown-lines that would form in the crease of Castiel’s forehead when he didn’t understand something. How his eyes looked like frosted ice and his lips were such a soft pink that sometimes Sam would get distracted while listening to him talk. His voice was low and raucous, but he spoke with such clarity, enunciation perfect, like nothing Sam had ever heard.

He fell hard for this celestial being, deeper than ever before.

So when Dean came back and everything began to slowly revolve around his older brother once more, including Castiel’s attentions, Sam decided to simply stop. He wouldn’t try to win Cass over or seduce him. He just didn’t have it in him to fight for someone who was so clearly interested in someone else. Sam had probably just served as a distraction while Dean was away. Castiel probably hadn’t even noticed the blatant coquetry.

Sam decided that, fuck it, if he couldn’t be happy, then everyone else who he loved better be.

Castiel was in the kitchen, washing dishes. Sam leaned against the counter behind him and fiddled with the tines of a stray fork. He had already opened and closed his mouth several times, trying to find the nerve and the words to begin his sentence. Cass had no idea, absorbed in the thick suds of soapy water.

“I could talk to him. Dean, um,” Sam paused, staring intently at the fork, brows knitted in concentration, a light-headed stupid feeling overtaking him. Deep breath. He looked up at Castiel, eyes boring into the back of his head. “I could talk to Dean for you. About, you know,” he gestured vaguely, because he really didn’t want to say it aloud.

Castiel turned toward him and frowned, and dammit if he didn’t just want to kiss that little wrinkle atop his nose.

“No, I don’t know.”

Sam cleared his throat. “Um, you know, to see if he feels the same way. I mean, I don’t know, he’d be kind of stupid not to-”

Shit, shut up Sam.

“Because you’re, you,” he exhaled and blinked away for a moment, attempting to compose his thoughts.

“Just, sometimes it's helpful to have a wing-man. I guess I’m offering to be your go-between.”

Castiel looked even more confused, mouth parted slightly. His tongue flicked out over his upper lip for a fraction of a second and Sam found himself wondering if that was really necessary, before taking a sudden intake of breath because Castiel turned around to fully face him, hands still wet from the dishes, a soft plop, plop sounding from the drips onto the floor.

Without thinking, Sam grabbed a towel from across the counter and caught Castiel’s hand in his own, skin separated by the thick cloth, beginning to rub the soft cotton over the angel’s delicate fingers. That’s when Sam wondered how stupid he really was, reasoned that he should probably stop, but noted that he didn’t want to stop, and Castiel just looked down at their hands with interest, not disgust so...

Sam couldn’t help but hope. They stood there in silence for a few minutes, past when Cass’ hands were dry, Sam continuing to massage his palms.

“Sam, I know what a wing-man is. I learned the term when Dean took me to the call house. I do not need one between your brother and me, if that is what you were offering.”

He nodded and finally released Castiel’s hands. “I just thought… I don’t know, really. You seemed interested in him.”

“He was my charge. We will always share a strong-”

“Bond,” Sam interrupted, attempting to mask the bitter in his voice and looking away, anywhere but Castiel’s face. “Yeah, you guys have a unique bond.”

“Forgive me if I am misinterpreting your emotions Sam, but if that was jealousy, there is no need. This bond I have with Dean is unique and strong, but no more so than the one I share with you. Simply different.”

Sam quirked an eyebrow and smiled at the thought that him and Castiel could share something so divine, at least in his eyes. His stomach was knotted and twisted and warm, nervous at being so close and hearing that he had been imagining Cass’ desire for Dean. He didn’t know what to say, just knew that he felt good, happy.

He knew that if there were any time to segway into confessing his feelings, this was it.

“I want to kiss you,” he said, and alright, that wasn’t exactly what he had in mind, but he sheepishly grinned, glancing down at Castiel.

“I would very much like that,” was the angel’s response.

Sam, tender and gentle, slipped a hand to cradle Castiel’s neck, pulling him flush against his body and dipping his head down so that their lips met, soft and warm. Safe. His other arm snaked around his angel’s waist, holding him tight.  


They stood like that, kissing, and Sam couldn't wipe the smile off his face even if he wanted to.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! As always, reviews are greatly appreciated. :)


End file.
